


The Gospel of the Fallen King

by YaminoTenshi202



Category: Dragon Ball
Genre: Character Analysis, Consensual Possession, Consent, Death, F/M, Heartbreak, M/M, Saiyan Culture (that I made up), Schadenfreude, Sexual Content, The Color Pink, Yandere, i guess, making deals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-22
Updated: 2016-10-02
Packaged: 2018-08-14 03:09:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7996369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YaminoTenshi202/pseuds/YaminoTenshi202
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I... belong to something else." Goku looked over to Chi-Chi. Her eyes were dark, but not as dark as those of the person that he was thinking about. Her eyes were filled with tears the last time he saw her, and her face was as pale as the full moon; she was as pretty as a full moon, making his heart race with something that he finally - on his deathbed! - understood; it was the last thing that he saw with the person that he was thinking about.</p><p>His last thought was how pretty Vegeta might look if he was crying too.</p><p>(a.k.a: my version of the origin of Goku Black)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Truth be Told, I Never was Yours

**Author's Note:**

> I was driving and listening to music when "This is Gospel" by Panic! At the Disco came on. I quickly switched my playlist to "Emperor's New Clothes" by P!ATD right after. All the pieces fell into place.
> 
> Dedicated to uchiyo-oujo.tumblr.com, for making me fall in love with Yandere! Goku, xdreamer45x.tumblr.com, for their beautiful Black Goku art, and the entire fandom ♡ (love you guys).

I’m a slave to my emotions, to my likes, to my hatred of boredom, to most of my desires.

\- F. Scott Fitzgerald,  _This Side of Paradise_

* * *

"...ku-sa!"

Someone was screaming his name. Why, Goku thought. He had just been outside training with his son after a good day of the boy's studies to reward him for a job well done; truly, he didn't know how well his son was doing, but Chi-Chi was happy with Gohan, and that was the important thing.

"Dad!"

Goku opened his eyes, which seemed to make him tired and made him want to keep them shut. His wife was looking at him with tears in her eyes. Goku had the urge to hold her, to make the tears go away. Last time she had cried was when she cradled Gohan in her arms, their son having fought Vegeta in Goku's place.

"What's goin' on?" Goku was helped up to sit, small hands and thin hands gripping him. Why did his body feel so heavy?

"You two were sparring," Chi-Chi explained. "Gohan ran inside not too long ago t' tell me that you'd fallen."

Goku frowned. He didn't remember that happening. He remembered throwing a few punches at Gohan, opening his mouth and taking a breath to talk before-

"Dad?" Gohan called his attention, and Goku gave it, focusing his tired eyes on his only child. "You grabbed at your chest and then you fell over."

Yeah... that seemed right. His chest had been feeling tight the harder they had sparred. When he wanted to tell Gohan how much he was improving, his breath was caught in his throat, air seized by an invisible noose around his neck. His chest tightness turned into a pain that threatened to explode out of his chest.

It was a pain like Piccolo had inflicted upon him during the Tenkai-ichi Budokai less than ten years ago; but even while Piccolo had stepped on the hole in his shoulder, crushing the muscle and shattering already fragile bone underneath his foot, he could breath. This pain... froze him, stealing his breath and wishing that he was gone so he didn't have to feel it anymore.

"Goku-sa? Do you want t' go t' the hospital?"

"I think I'll be okay, Chi-Chi."

It was the first lie that he really told.

* * *

Vegeta always made his brain feel weird, so maybe he knew why Goku's chest was acting so weird lately. The baby that Bulma was carrying in her arms made him feel weird, too, like he was something special. It was the same feeling that he had had when he saw Gohan for the first time. When Trunks was born, Vegeta had asked him what Goku did as a father.

"I train him, make sure he eats, and make sure he knows that I'm proud of him, Vegeta. Do Saiyans do anything different?"

Vegeta had stared at the sky the whole time they talked, but when Goku asked his question, the Prince's body jerked slightly.

"My father had other people train me, feed me... I'll never know if he was proud of me."

"He never told you?"

"I was given to Freezer when I was five years old."

Goku felt himself shudder. Gohan was four when they met Raditz, five when he fought Vegeta, and he still shivered with fear, one that lived in the marrow of his bones, over the thought of losing his son. He'd never want to hand him over to someone like Freezer... Maybe the King had a reason? He decided that he wouldn't ask, though.

"Vegeta, I had a question for you, but did you want to spar instead?"

Vegeta stood, glaring down at the younger Saiyan. They sparred for the rest of the day, but Goku never bothered to ask his question. Vegeta had looked angry.

* * *

He opened his eyes, and he felt his lungs burning, like they had been on fire and the smoking left behind was curling inside of his lungs. There was a voice talking to him, yelling at him, but he didn't want it to stop. It was a nice voice, despite the taunts it gave him; there was something about it that made his heart feel wonderful in spite of the pain.

"...geta?" His voice was hoarse around the name that he knew so well, and it seemed like his heart knew that word. His blood  _raced_ at that word.

"Kakarotto, what the hell just happened?" Vegeta's face was looking down at him as though there was an answer to everything in Goku's face.

"I... My chest hurts..." They had been sparring before... Did he faint again?

Vegeta blinked and his eyebrows wrinkled in frustration. "Why? Is it something physical? An illness? There are no Saiyan illnesses on this planet!"

"... I think I've had it... since I fought Freezer." His chest strained against the instinct to breathe. His muscles shuddered and his heart ache again, pulling a scream from his throat that crackled its way out.

"Kakarotto." Vegeta growled out his name, his fangs bared. Goku shivered at the tone that his elder Saiyan spoke in; it was turning his stomach. "Your chest; how is it hurting? Is it crushing? Can you breathe when it happens?"

Goku shook his head. "I can... Can't breathe. It feels like someone's chokin' my heart."

"And you faint?"

Goku nodded. Vegeta cursed, his fist landing on Goku's hand but it was a pain that Goku could actually tolerate. He could feel each of Vegeta's knuckles leaving an indent in his skin. It was nice.

"... On our home planet-"

"Wait! Like where we were born?"

Vegeta sighed. "On that planet, there was a species - the Siviiridda - that had flesh that was poisonous to our kind. The illness from them passes down from parent to child. I remember Raditz saying that your mother died after her illness caught up to her."

His mother? Goku hummed at that. He sometimes forgot that he had had a family before being with his grandfather. Raditz had mentioned their parents like Goku would have liked them, or at least, have had some connection with them before they passed on. His mother had died from this, maybe...

"Wait. Could Gohan have it?"

"It's unlikely. He'd have shown signs after all of the trauma he's been through; he's almost too soft to handle it all. Besides, in the stories I was told, it never spread to half-breed children." Vegeta scoffed, lifting his fist away from Goku's arm. Goku flinched, waiting for the urge to touch Vegeta to go away again.

"So," Goku started, trying to fight that urge to punch Vegeta so he could be touched again, "you and Raditz talked a lot?"

Vegeta turned back and stared at him. "... I told you that you're going to die and you're asking me about your brother?"

"Something that I can do before I die," Goku blurted out before closing his mouth with a loud clack of his own fangs. He hardly talked like that; his grandfather told him to always be polite, and he learned when he walked around the world that some things weren't supposed to be talked about. With Vegeta, he didn't have to worry about what people thought at all; Vegeta was Saiyan, just like he was, and he always said what he thought; it seemed that way, at least.

A laugh unlike one he'd ever heard rang in his ears and shocked him out of his thoughts. Vegeta's body was quivering with laughter, relaxed in a way that Goku had never seen the other's body move. Part of his mind wandered to how he could make Vegeta's body move, if he ever had the chance, and the other part wondered how casual death was to Vegeta. It must have been every day for him, if fighting and talking with Freezer had shown him anything.

"Your brother was an elite from the lower class. It must have been your father's gift to him. Your father went on many missions, and his strength and ability to adapt were prized. For that reason, Raditz was assigned to be my partner on missions."

"Was he sent away to wipe out a planet?" Goku asked softly but curious. "Like me?"

"Yes. His pod brought him back to Vegeta when he was eight months old."

Goku blinked at that. Raditz was so strong when he had met him, and he started off so strong. It was amazing that Goku managed to get so far just because he had met his brother, the brother that he had helped Piccolo kill.

"Were you two friends?"

"No," Vegeta answered. "We were hardly equals. He was below me, and he knew his place. The only thing that he hid from me was that he knew you were alive."

Goku felt something wash over him, a feeling that he felt rarely and only with his grandfather. Part of him wanted something to be filled or replaced, and it was his brother's turn to fill that part inside of him. The emptiness made his body shudder. "Can... What else was he like? Why didn't he tell you?"

"He was protective... Abrasive. He liked picking fights with the soldiers he knew were weaker, but he grudgingly would listen to his superiors. Protective... There were so many times where he'd defend me against punishment from Freezer's men." Vegeta looked back to Goku, his eyes revealing very little. They seemed a bit warm. "He wanted to make sure you were close to adolescence at least, before telling me about you. To make sure that you were strong enough to fight with us, he said, but you could smell the care that he had for you. Almost the same as when you talk about your son."

Goku wrapped his arms around his knees, trying to process everything. "He wasn't happy that I wasn't as Saiyan as he was. He wanted me to feel the feeling that I got when I hunted for Piccolo's father."

"What feeling was that?"

"He killed Kuririn. I wanted." Goku looked down at the ripped fabric that hardly hid his knees. His skin was already healing, blood coagulating despite the deep injuries. The smell of blood made his heart skip at a faster pace now. "I wanted his blood on my hands. I wanted to rip him apart. He killed my friends and killed Shen-Long and I was so mad!"

"That's not a normal feeling?"

"Not for humans. Not normally." Goku felt something in the back of his head push forward, the smell of blood when he wandered killing all of the children of the Demon King. "My grandpa taught me that I only needed to kill if I was hungry. This feeling... I wanted death for death's sake, to avenge Kuririn and my teacher. I wanted to see their lives end, to see them stop breathing."

"That's normal for us." A hand spread itself over one of his shoulder blades and Goku let out a strangled gasp. It was like when Chi-Chi fed him a wonderful meal; it made him feel satisfied. It also made his heart feel funny, in the good way that Vegeta only made him feel.

"S-Stop."

"Stop what, Kakarotto?" His name had always sounded nice, but the pure confusion there, the idea that Vegeta could be vulnerable made Goku's body come alive with that thought that, if he wanted something, he could take it; he was stronger than Vegeta when his chest wasn't hurting, when he wasn't dying.

"Your hand."

Vegeta's hand turned into a claw, the scent of aggression in the air. Goku couldn't tell who it was coming from, but there was a scent of possessiveness as well. "Make me."

His body moved like one of Bulma's machines, fluidly and undeterred. Vegeta was under him and despite his elder's protest, he let his mouth open and fangs bare themselves. Vegeta's words were noises that his mind didn't understand and noises that caught on the end of his words - growls, small chokes - were what made his mind even more confused. Fangs like his own were bared and they spit out curses and words of ridicule.

As Goku bent down over his elder, his superior by blood, fists came up and he caught a wrist in his teeth. He let the taste of blood fill his mouth from Vegeta's wrist. The fighting beneath him stopped, followed by Goku ending up on his back and fangs buried deep in his neck. Vegeta's eyes seemed darker than they ever had before.

The feeling drowned him, the feeling of domination and submission burning in his belly like a wildfire. Vegeta's hands were on him, and the word "Saiyan" spilled from blood-stained lips so many times that that the young Saiyan forgot his own name for a while; as long as Vegeta kept biting, marking,  _taking_ , he didn't mind how much he was being bitten, and he didn't mind being called a "real Saiyan" like he had years ago... months ago...

Then something touched his lips, wet and warm and soft, and he opened his mouth to it, the smoothness of a warm tongue invading his mouth with such possession and desperation that he felt his heart skip and he couldn't breathe couldn't breathe breathe breathe-

"Kakarotto, relax."

He let out an awful gasp and the difficulty went away, replaced by a sense of loss.

Goku opened his eyes and stared up at Vegeta. His face was covered in blood, and he was certain that his own face was similar, though not as heavily coated in red.

"... Vegeta, I wanted to do that for a long time."

Vegeta stared down at him with cold eyes. "How long?"

"The day I met you."

Vegeta blinked slowly and his face changed into an expression that made Goku lean his head back, vulnerable.

The wind was his only company.

* * *

After that day, Goku stayed at home. His heart hurt too much when he sparred, so he hunted in the woods for exercise; however, that became too much. He did work at home - chopping wood from trees that Gohan would gather, driving to the city to get ice for their ice box, and tending to their garden with Chi-Chi - but the day that Vegeta left him, it never left his mind. Even when he kissed his wife when she thanked him for staying at home more often, he imagined that it was Vegeta. When he was buried inside of her body, burning and ignoring the choking pain in his chest, he fantasized that it was Vegeta's body that he was in, and he would cry himself to sleep, his tears making his pillow wet and voice silent as he tried to gasp enough air back into his lungs.

After a few nights of crying during the times when Chi-Chi and Gohan were sound asleep, Goku found himself needing a pillow under his back to breathe through the night. Then it became two. It was still okay, because he could help Chi-Chi at home, and that made her happy, along with the drawings he did.

He had started to draw when it became to hard to spar. He drew buildings, buildings like the ones he built as a child, a twelve-year-old running around and dreaming of fighting all the strongest opponents that the unknown world had to offer. He knew how much cement and lumber to use. He knew how many nails to hammer in (or press in with his fingers) and what kind of plaster went where; shingles and roof tiles were familiar to him, as were the support beams and drywall. She had called a contracting company, and now people were making the houses that he made the plans of. They were paying them for it all, and Chi-Chi's smile was so bright that Goku grinned through the pain in his chest and the pain of him wanting Vegeta to smile at him with even a fraction of that happiness, that joy.

Then came the day that he couldn't move. It lasted only for a day, but it changed everything.

* * *

Gohan was studying from his physics textbook when it happened. It was a normal day; well, his father didn't train as much anymore, and he was home a lot more, but it was the new normal. His mother was reading over his shoulder, trying to understand the little that she could. Gohan always felt resentful towards his grandfather when she did that; she knew to read up to an eighth grade level, but her village's teachers only taught that high; for that reason, and the fact that her husband only knew until about the same age level - or less - and knew little math, she stressed her son's education; it was a sad thing, but Gohan would make his mother proud, one way or another.

His father had changed, he realized as he figured out the amount of Work needed to pull a 2.6 kilogram object 4 meters. His father was softer-spoken, more agreeable to his wife, and he sometimes sat with Gohan as he studied. Sometimes his father helped him find answers in his own way; his only explanation was "I guess when I learned, I learned something right." Goku knew about nature, about animals, and about other things. It just seemed to be that school wasn't his strong point.

As he wrote down the answer, Gohan felt something shiver inside of him, an autumn leaf ready to fall off of its branch. He pushed the feeling away as his mother praised him and continued to urge him to finish his homework.

"Maybe you and your pa' c'n go for a walk afterwards."

"... Dad said that he was going for a walk earlier." He set his pencil down and turned to face his mother completely. "Do you think Dad's okay?"

Chi-Chi sighed. "I think he is... I hope so. He still eats a lot, an' tha's how I check."

"Okay." Gohan turned to his homework again as his mother kissed his forehead and left the room. Now to find the force needed-

A scream filled his ears. His mother's voice was shrill and terrified. Gohan looked at his clock.

6:32 PM, and the sky was only now starting to show the evidence of a changing season. The trees were starting to bud, the promise of the fruit in the trees and a new birth.

He ran downstairs and his father was on the floor, his pencils and square on the floor with him. His mother had tears running down her face, and then Gohan realized that his father's ki was quivering like a fish trapped in a net. It was weak.

"D-Dad?"

"Gohan- _chan_! Call Bulma- _sa_ and tell her what just happened!" Chi-Chi was gathering Goku in her arms, making Gohan remember that she used to be a fighter like her husband. He stood on shaky legs. "Hurry up!"

He saw his mother cradle his father to her body, lifting him up with ease as she ran outside and called for Kinto-Un which would be faster than their car. He looked so small.

_"Hello, Capsule Corporation."_

"Bulma-san! Dad fell down and his ki is low! We're coming to you!"

_"Wha? Okay! Hurry!"_

He cracked the plastic of the phone when he slammed it down on the receiver. He couldn't be slow, not when his parents were on Kinto-Un and already leaving to West City.

* * *

When Goku woke up, he was staring at a white ceiling with large square tiles. He could smell medicine and the scent of sterility around him. He turned his head to the right and saw a woman in a hospital uniform; Gohan called them scrubs, if he remembered right.

"Hey."

The woman turned around and she gasped softly.

"Son-san, are you in any pain?" His only answer was to shake his head; his throat didn't want to work now.

"Do you know where you are?" He shook his head.

"You're in the Capsule Corporation Infirmary. Miss Bulma had you brought here." Goku nodded slowly; that is something that Chi-Chi probably did; being an alien didn't make it easy when getting sick, he guessed. Here, Bulma's doctors wouldn't say anything about what was different with him; there was a lot, if what happened after his first fight with Vegeta taught him anything.

A doctor came into the room and began to ask Goku lots of questions, which made him dizzy but he didn't mind it. How did his chest feel when it hurt? Did it hurt when he was resting or when he was exercising? Did he have trouble breathing at night? Would that difficulty wake him up? What did he do for the pain? Did he take any medicine? Did rest help? Could he have sex without the chest pain coming back? Did he ever feel dizzy, sweaty or light-headed when the pain came? When did the pain first come anyway?

"..."

His throat didn't want to work; that was his second lie.

* * *

"A... heart virus?" Chi-Chi's voice was soft, softer than anyone had ever heard it. Gyu-Maou only heard her voice like that when her mother had died as a small child. Gohan was holding onto his mother, trying to support her as the news washed over her as a wave of black, threatening to drown her in her own horrified thoughts.

"Yes, Lady Son," the doctor explained, addressing her royalty. "It was difficult, but in the blood that we took from your husband, we found an organism that makes itself known with a certain light on our screening tools. That organism dies when it is taken from the body and from the blood, but it can live on tissue; we saw it on the images of Lord Goku's heart, lungs, and even on his liver and brain.

"We observed the effects on the blood. It seems random, but some of the viruses will coagulate blood very fast and others will thin it out.

"It's the Siriividda."

All eyes turned to Vegeta. The Prince had spoken bluntly, as though it were the only explanation needed. Explanation proved itself necessary, as voices from all people in the room began to ask questions.

"I'm not certain to what it truly does, you idiots! I'm no scientist!" Vegeta growled out, commanding authority. "But I do know something for certain."

"Like what? What could you know?" Yamcha's eyes were full of fury; this Prince of Saiyans knew too much about Goku and was obsessed with killing him! "How do we know that you didn't give this Sirii thing to him?"

"His mother died of the same thing!"

The room stilled as Vegeta continued to shout his answers. "It's a blood disease that passes from parent to child! Your little half-breed" - Chi-Chi held her son close - "is immune because of what he is! Kakarotto was doomed the moment he was made inside of his mother's womb! There are no survivors of this, no cure, and nothing that you can do about this to keep him healthy."

Bulma stepped forward. "Vegeta, is there anything that we can do for him?"

Vegeta glared at her. "Let him do what he wants."

Bulma felt tears fill her eyes. This was the man that she had seen grow up, the man that she saw alone in the mountains as a little boy... The man that had saved the world so many times was going to die because of something that they nor he had any control over. There was no lie in Vegeta's eyes; they looked open, clear, and cruel like the way he was whenever he had a moment to rest his head in her lap, though it had only happened twice.

"No way!" Chi-Chi yelled. "He's my husband! There has to be something that we could do!" Tears were flooding her cheeks, her face growing wet and red at her cheeks.

Vegeta stared at her.

"I'm telling you, woman, that there's nothing to do. Why do you think he hasn't told you about this? He's known for months that his time is running out, and he did what would make you happy."

Chi-Chi strode across the room so quickly that no one could breathe in get enough air for a warning; Vegeta caught her hand before it made purchase.

"What would make me happy?! I waited years f'r him! He's all I ever wanted! I have want I wanted right now! If he's gone again-" Her voice, shrill and longing, held such ire at being denied her dreams, her life, that her son shuddered at the passion there. Gohan had come close the moment that Vegeta had seized her wrist, and he stayed at her side, ready to attack Vegeta if needed.

Vegeta glared down at her. There was something in the air; it wasn't antagonism, but pity. His lips parted to speak, but he stopped, mumbling something under his breath.

"What, Vegeta?" Bulma left Yamcha's side, but she turned instead toward the sound of footsteps that came from the direction of the Medical Wing.

Goku stood in the doorway, face neutral, an expression they only saw when he fought. Vegeta let go of Chi-Chi's wrist as the young wife ran to her spouse.

"Goku-sa! Please, tell me you have a plan! Anything! Just don' die!" Her pleas and her quivering body were embraced by her husband, who began to stroke her hair and hum softly to her.

Bulma stared at them. This was a side that not many people saw of the mountain-raised man; she knew that he could be quiet, and that he felt overwhelmed in crowds, but this was the quietest they had seen him out of battle. He was holding his wife in such a way that the person that she had seen grow up made no connection to this young man in front of her.

"I'm sorry, Chi-Chi... I'm sorry that I couldn't make you happier." Goku's voice was rather small. He sounded defeated. Chi-Chi shook her head, denying Goku's words and mentioning the Dragon Balls. "Shen-Long can't make the same wish twice, and Kami- _sama_ is weaker than I am, so his wishes can't work on me anyway."

He looked around the room, eyes tired in a way that demonstrated an age that Goku should not have reached yet.

"Dad?"

Gohan walked to his parents, looking back at Vegeta, as to make sure that he didn't follow them. Goku looked to his son and smiled.

"Let's go home, son. We can go for a walk later."

"Don't... Don't you wanna train?"

"We can try later."

Gohan rushed forward, clinging to his father's pants and his mother's dress.

Bulma felt the frigidity of hopelessness in her heart. This little family in front of her - the thought of 'family' churned in her stomach, her body familiar to it now that  _he_ existed - was going to disappear, their smiles, and so soon after Chi-Chi had told her wonderful news. Their children would have been the best of friends; Bulma knew that Chi-Chi wouldn't handle losing Goku a second - and the final - time.

"Let's go home."

* * *

Goku stayed poised over Vegeta, watching the older Saiyan to see what he'd do. The full moon was shining down on them, their bodies glowing in the moonlight.

They had come to walk in the moonlight, after Goku and Gohan managed to train for a half hour; when Vegeta arrived, impressed that Goku's power was at a level that he had not felt in months, Goku was alone and enraptured by the presence of the other Saiyan.

The older Saiyan touched down on the ground and offered to spar with him.

"Let's go for a walk, huh, Vegeta?"

They walked, and they walked, and they walked until the moon was their company, the stars twinkling and giggling in the night sky. The wind was softer than any whisper, but the sensation of a cool breeze was still apparent against their arms, their skin.

Goku talked about what he had done for the last few months. Vegeta listened and began to talk about Bulma.

The thought that Vegeta had tasted the skin of his friend, his very best friend, sent Goku's heart racing. He grabbed Vegeta's arm, squeezing his fingers as tightly as he could, nails digging through armor and into skin and muscle.

"Kakarotto?"

"Vegeta... Can I have what I want? Can you give me what I want?"

Vegeta stared back and bared his teeth. "Make me."

Whether it was invitation by congruent longing or by reluctant obligation, Goku pushed Vegeta to the ground, on all fours and kneeling over the sovereign prince, only other of his race. His lips pressed themselves to Vegeta's and his body awoke with the sensation that he felt when he was pressing himself into Chi-Chi's warm, tight body as he thought about how hot and tight Vegeta had to be.

He remembered Chi-Chi's face and her smiles whenever they had sex in bed, and he thought of how Vegeta would react if he acted the same way; however, he thought about how Vegeta must have liked Bulma in bed, her voice angry and claiming against Vegeta's demands. He didn't want to act like that; Goku wanted Vegeta to remember him the way that he really was.

"Vegeta, I want..."

"Then take it. I'm letting you."

Those words sent sparks in his brain, Goku shivering at the idea that Vegeta was  _letting_ him do it. He had  _permission_ to touch Vegeta, to taste him; ripping off that armor without ruining it was so difficult, his lungs burning as he tasted, suckled, and marked the skin beneath him. The salt of sweat decorated his tongue, making Goku wonder how he could have waited so long to ask Vegeta for something like this.

He wanted to give something back.

"Kaka- Oh..."

Vegeta's cock in his mouth was strange, but Goku hoped he was doing it right; he was trying to mimic how Chi-Chi did it to him, and Vegeta's hand in his hair was pushing him down, so he guessed that he was doing okay. The heat in his mouth was burning as Vegeta's penis got even harder, throbbed, and then there was a strange taste in his mouth that wasn't unpleasant, so he swallowed it all.

Hopefully, that meant that Vegeta had liked it. Looking up, Goku's eyes met Vegeta's and black eyes didn't have any end.

"Kakarotto."

"Vegeta."

Vegeta had Goku roll on his back, and Goku cried out as Vegeta's hand touched him through the pants of his  _dougi_. He pushed the offending garment down and soon a glove hand was touching his bare flesh. His body was shaking and he didn't know his own name; he only sung Vegeta's name as earnestly and reverently as he knew how; he kissed Vegeta when that mouth touched his as passionately as Chi-Chi had first kissed him.

Did Goku love Vegeta? He didn't know if he could love anybody, but he wanted him. He wanted Vegeta, and he screamed out that longing as he came, pleasure washing over him and wiping his mind of all previous thoughts of the woman that bore his son, of his best friend that had touched the man that he wanted, and the woman that had appeared in a dream to him when he had fainted in the kitchen.

If he had ever remembered to ask Vegeta about her, described her, Vegeta would have told him that her name was Gine.

But Goku never asked.

He only ever woke up one more time.

* * *

 

Chi-Chi was watching over him when he woke up, her eyes vigilant for any threat against him waking fully.

"Where were ye' last night, and why did Vegeta bring ye' home?" Goku found his heart rather painful, and his lungs were having trouble bringing air in. He felt dizzy, and when Chi-Chi offered him something to eat, his blood screamed at him to reject it. Huh... He remembered Bulma saying that he'd have to be dying or almost dead to deny food.

He felt the ki of his son leave the house, the boy filled with sadness and resentment towards his father who was hardly a man. Goku felt his heart clench at that; he really was a terrible human father. Maybe it was better that he'd die, to let Chi-Chi and Gohan have a human man to take care of them.

He told Chi-Chi this during a period of adequate breath, and she kissed him deeply. "You're my husband; the only one I'll ever want is you," was her response, and Goku blessed his wife, his sweet woman that never minded the times that he had called her by a different name. Maybe she wasn't what he had wanted on sight, but he did love her in a different way than Vegeta and he regretted not being the man she wanted.

More visitors were coming. He felt Kuririn, Muten Roshi, Yamcha... All of his friends.

"They're here..?"

"Vegeta told me tha' your ki is too low now... Are you sure you don' wanna eat something'?"

Goku shook his head... "Where's Gohan?"

Chi-Chi turned to someone that had just come into the room, his father-in-law, and told him to go find their son, their only child that was the best parts of the both of them. She turned back to her husband, who murmured possessive words to him, calling him "her husband" and "her Goku".

Goku took in a painful sniff of her hair, smelling the softness of her spirit, flowers and sugar. As he closed his eyes, he felt the spice of Bulma, the clarity of Kuririn, the strength and devotion of Tenshin-Han and Chaozu, the loyalty of Yamcha, and the wisdom of his old Master. He could feel the content nature's of Pu-Erh and Oolong reaching out for the brightness that was Gohan. There was another soul outside, one that Goku didn't recognize but it still felt so familiar, and small.

He opened his eyes when he felt Vegeta. It was magnetic, how his soul wanted to be so close to Vegeta's that Goku prayed to whatever allowed him to live, whatever allowed him to go to Heaven - despite murdering his own grandfather, killing an army, and not loving his wife as much as he should - to let him be with Vegeta.

"I belong to something else." Goku looked over to Chi-Chi. Her eyes were dark, but not as dark as those of the person that he was thinking about. Her eyes were filled with tears the last time he saw her, and her face was as pale as the full moon; she was as pretty as a full moon, making his heart race with something that he finally - on his deathbed! - understood; it was the last thing that he saw with the person that he was thinking about.

His last thought was how pretty Vegeta might look if he was crying too.

"Dad!"

He had no time to process the sounds as his eyes closed and he stopped breathing; the sounds of children crying out for family and friend. He didn't know who the other child was.


	2. I See What's Mine and Take It

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, a lot of my own head-mythos.
> 
> After the quote, keep in mind what Enma says at the beginning; in Hell you lose yourself.
> 
> Edit: 2 October 0920 - I do not accept the answer. Disregard it as you read this please. ((It could have been cooler, because I feared that this would be the answer.))

Goku didn't mind being dead. He actually stayed close to Enma's place of work, watching the souls of the dead come to be judged, sent off to be in paradise or be cleansed, and then to be reincarnated to start over again. He enjoyed seeing them all, little clouds of energy that thought their strongest memory, the one that defined their personality, which influenced whether they went to Heaven or Hell.

"Are you so sure that you want to wait for your family and friends?" Lord Enma had asked him. Goku nodded his little cloud head in response. He did not come with his body here, and he was surprised when Enma gave him a body younger than what it was when he had died the first time. He was twenty-three years old again, a body that was young and innocent of what he was born as but full of the instincts that Raditz had described to him at that time.

As he stayed at Enma's station, Goku felt those thoughts coming in, the thoughts of murder, rampage, and how he should have held Vegeta more tightly under the brightest full moon that Goku had ever had the pleasure of lying and choking under. The Saiyan side of him was the one that  _desired_ things, that desired for things to disappear under the touch of his fingers; Goku had never felt anything like this, but the moment that he became a Super Saiyan, Kakarotto woke up inside of him again after being dead for so long.

Kakarotto was the name that Vegeta called out in short whispers as he had been suckled on, cock throbbing and heavy in the younger Saiyan's mouth. Kakarotto was the one inside of him that thought that Chi-Chi was so weird to want to be with him all the time but wanted him to go away to work, like the meat and vegetation that he got from around their mountain home wasn't enough for two Saiyans and a human woman. Kakarotto loved the crush of bone under his fists, the scent of blood, and the pounding of his heart as he brought another opponent down.

It was Goku that liked to stay and watch his family live what seemed to be such complicated lives (math, physics; seasonings, cleaning the house every day like they hadn't just mopped the day before), that resisted the instinct to bite into vulnerable necks, and the one that wanted to please Vegeta the most, to hear his name called out.

He told Lord Enma of this, and the large god nodded.

"Your Saiyan blood will drive you to do many aggressive things, violent things. Don't worry; if anything, the air here should help you stay calm. If not..."

Goku followed Enma's gaze, his body turning cold at the filtering machine that could clean his soul...

Just in case.

He went to Kaio-sama's planet for a while, to distract him from everything crashing around him.

* * *

His friends died. It was May. They should have been enjoying the ending of the spring. Vegeta should have been training with Gohan, like he had asked Gohan to. Piccolo could have been training with them. His other friends would have been somewhere, enjoying their days.

He didn't know if Vegeta went to Heaven or Hell, but he did know that Piccolo did go to Hell, meaning that Kami had died as well. Whatever had caused it all, his friends could not be brought back to life.

He flew to Lord Enma, but the God shook his head in sympathy. "Forgive me, I have only managed to keep them here for a short while."

Kuririn's little soul wrapped around his arm, Yamcha, Ten Shin Han, and Chaozu curling against him. Piccolo's soul was gone somewhere, wherever it needed to be. Vegeta's soul was standoffish, and Goku only approached it when the others had gone.

"Vegeta?"

He saw the memory that defined Vegeta, and he kissed the little cloud in earnest love. The memory was pure anger, fear, and pride. Goku found himself growing warm at the familiarity of it all. The soul reacted to him, pushing against him, trying to bury itself inside of Goku's chest, and Goku wouldn't have protested, but now Lord Enma was ready to send Vegeta's soul to be cleansed.

'Maybe next time... Next time, we'll be together, Vegeta!'

"Enma-sama, what happened?"

"Cyborgs, it looks like," Enma said, looking through his little notebook. "Your son is holding them off for now."

Goku smiled, his heart full of pride. He could train more of Kaio-sama's planet for a while. When he returned, Kaio-sama let him talk to his son, and Gohan woke up with the desire to wear one of his father's small  _dougi_ when he awoke the next morning.

* * *

Goku looked down at the clouds that reminded him so much of his Kinto-Un, his little cloud that he had loved to ride on. How much time had passed anyway? When he looked down, he could hear the hustling and bustling of Hell. There was a strangeness to is, as Hell functioned much like the world before Death, but there was a definite chaos in it. He had heard some of the workers say that Hell was ruled by a King that once ruled a world while living. He was strong, and his subordinates monitored the underworld for souls that strayed from their designated area or managed to escape the cleansing machinery of Lord Enma.

Goku walked up to the large God, and he asked what would happen if he went to Hell, like a short trip and back.

"You can, if you wish. Just be careful of the creatures that lay asleep at the entrance and exits of both. They will favor you while you enter, but Hell can enter your soul, taint it, and they will go after anything that doesn't belong in the Higher Worlds. You must be cautious when coming back. I will alert Uzume to have the guards below lead you to place to cleanse yourself."

Goku nodded. "I don't need to go right now..."

"Are you certain?" Enma turned to the growing line of people's souls, sighing. "Since those cyborgs have been on the Earth, there have been more people than I have seen since the war with the Red Ribbon Army."

Goku shivered at the reminder of those times, when he was fighting assassins and soldiers. He wondered how Snow and Hac-chan were doing now... How was Upa doing now, and his father Bora? He hoped that they were still alive and managed to get away from all of the chaos.

"What would you want me to do, Enma-sama?"

"Perhaps find one of your allies and go to the Kaioshin, king of the Kai-ou; tell them of the trouble on Earth and he may offer his assistance."

Goku nodded.

As he stood on the edge of the Snake Way, he felt something twist in his stomach. He didn't know if it was excitement as he looked into the clouds. He knew that he'd be in danger of staying no matter where he went, Heaven or Hell.

He jumped.

* * *

Hell was better than what he thought it'd be. There was a solid ground beneath him, and the smell of blood tickled his nose and woke Kakarotto up. Kakarotto looked around the area where he had fallen, Goku advising him to be wary. Kakarotto agreed, his nose already attuned to who they were looking for. No matter how long it would take, they'd find the one that they were looking for, their Vegeta.

Souls and smoke danced around them. They were in the Northern sector of Hell's center, directly beneath Enma's station. As Kakarotto walked, trying to find something that he could recognize and keep track of to make his way back -  _is that lake full of blood?_ \- to leave Hell again, he smelt something familiar. He wandered under branches in a large thicket, looking for the scent.

He came upon a woman, short and lithe, and the smell was wonderfully strong. When she turned around, Kakarotto felt his heart skip. Her hair was down past her shoulders, her eyes the color of black soil that was flooded, or the color of blood under a full moon. Her skin was so pale that Kakarotto could see her veins, little roads that would eventually lead back to the little pump in her chest. He let his eyes fall to her waist.

"Kakarotto?"

"... Who are you?"

The woman, smiling, sighed. "Gine." Her eyes held an emotion that Kakarotto understood as sadness, her hand out to him with a wet appearance to her eyes. He looked to the hand, which held no threat other than the blood on her knuckles and the pads of her thin fingers. He shook his head.

"I'm looking for the Saiyan Vegeta."

"Prince Vegeta? Or the King?"

"Umm... the newest one to come here, the Prince."

Gine nodded. She beckoned him to follow, going through the thicket, only stopping to grab a rucksack that she picked up with her tail.

"Come along, Kakarotto."

* * *

The King didn't let Kakarotto go forward, wouldn't let him look for Vegeta. When Goku asked why, there was no reason given. There was something young about the King, something that bothered Goku deeply and that made Kakarotto hunger. Gine tried to pull him away, but Kakarotto growled at her. A male came behind her, pulling her away. His and Kakarotto's eyes met for only a moment; why did they look so similar?

"You've abandoned your kind; you may not have audience with the prince." The King gave him a cruel smile. "Maybe in the next life."

"But he won't know me then!"

"Perhaps it is for the best."

Kakarotto's blood boiled, fire racing through him as his hands wrapped around the King's neck. No, Vegeta was his! He needed him to help the Earth, to not be alone, to crawl into his skin and stay inside of him forever! As his claws dug into the dead flesh, the stench of rot filled his nose, blood foul in the air and under his nails, burning his skin. He felt arms clasp at him, trying to pull him away, but Kakarotto pulled away, hitting his look-alike in the face and hitting someone else-

"Raditz?"

Kakarotto looked to the King, who was burned by the energy running through him right now. The King glared up at him, eyes rich in ire.

"Your brother, Raditz? The Super Saiyan?!"

Kakarotto looked down at the man that was Vegeta's father, blood still ready to burn anything if anyone around him managed to cut him, and tried to figure out why the Prince wouldn't see him. He and Vegeta were close, if not comrades. He closed his eyes and tried to smell for him, to find that scent that always drew him close.

"He isn't here at all, is he?"

Raditz signed. "The Prince has not passed through here. From what we know, those that abandoned our race were abandoned by the Three Gods, and you both had... relations with those humans. He'll go where humans in Hell go."

Kakarotto froze as Goku offered up information, the information from Lord Enma. Vegeta would be made clean again, and he wouldn't remember anything; nothing of Freezer, the Earth, nor of Goku would stay in his mind.

"Kakarotto, do you want the crown itself?"

"Huh?"

Raditz gave him a knowing smile. "You taste it, feel it once, and it's yours. If you have the Crown, you could go after him. Sovereigns still have power over their subjects in the afterlife. You'd be able to call him to you."

The King Vegeta glared at the siblings. "You will lay no hand on me, you damn low-class!"

The Saiyans around them cried out, cheered, and Kakarotto heard the woman and his look-alike praise him. The King reached for the Mark of the King, the blood-red sash dyed with Ohkota blood and the symbol of their kind emblazoned on its hue. Kakarotto slapped it away, growling and glaring with golden ire.

Instead, his claws engraved his own mark, how his name looked in a language that he didn't understand, into that man, that man who Vegeta had tried to make proud in life and death.

The Super Saiyan flew out of one hell's kingdoms, the woman and his look-alike following after him.

"What do you want?" Kakarotto's green eyes stared into them, wondering why they would be stopping him now.

The woman came close, nuzzling his cheek with hers. His look-alike stared at him.

"Did you kill Freezer? Did his blue blood spill?"

Goku blinked. "Yeah. It wasn't blue, though. It was red... just like ours."

His look-alike smirked. The woman turned to the larger man, smiling. "You fulfilled my wish, Kakarotto. You avenged us."

The man and woman left, leaving Kakarotto with a sense of loss that cooled his blood for a moment. The urge, however, to see Vegeta filled him again, spurring him on to find the older Saiyan.

* * *

_Vegeta, Vegeta, Vegeta._

As he ran through the factory, guards knocked over as he rushed past them, Kakarotto wondered how he had gotten there in the first place.

_We have to get to Kaio-shin after this._

He has stolen one of the uniforms of the workers and his memory began to grow strange, dream-like. Enma had said that the workers of Hell's factories had memory-altering equipment to make certain that they could operate with little spiritual trauma.

_I don't remember why, but Enma will know._

There was so much screaming, voices and the scent of different souls changing constantly as their memories were stripped away. The Mark of the King around his waist, however, drew him to Vegeta, a little cloud that he found that was squirming and struggling to remember what and who he was.

His hands were burning as he reached into the burning mixture is oil and hot sulfur, the stink of it scorching the scent of Vegeta from his senses and the taste of it as Vegeta squirmed away - and he had to go under the thick surface, blood red liquid scarring his form - and his tongue curled away from it all.

Vegeta's soul clung to Kakarotto's wrist as the physical body swam past eager flames licking at him. The blue fire against Vegeta's soul looked lovely, the soul in front of him almost pink under the sulfur liquid.

One of his burns opened and he brought Vegeta close to his wound, urging him to latch on there like a welcomed leech. The feeling was one of being flooded from the inside out, the feeling that Vegeta gave him under...

The Moon, the one that Vegeta made in the sky, as he stated down at this low-class fool that looked up at him with ambitious curiosity and eagerness. He should have been on his knees, palm upwards in a plea for forgiveness and favor. Kakarotto was beautiful, and it was obvious that Vegeta wanted to play with him, to let Kakarotto, son of that fighting lunatic Bardock, test his mettle against a super elite.

Vegeta was welcomed by this other soul, the only other Saiyan in the world that had not been lost to genocide nor battle. Their blood and souls mixed, and soon there was no distinction between the two souls, the two finally one in such a way that the Saiyans had mocked other cultures, races, and religions for - becoming One with someone made you vulnerable to soft emotions, after all.

* * *

_I know about your rough edges and I have seen your perfect curves, and I will fit into any spaces you let me._

\- Sarah Kay,  _Toothbrush to the Bicycle Tire_

* * *

The factory guards were overrun by a soul that Uzume did not recognize, the goddess blown away by a magical energy and a power-hungry hit to her stomach.

Kakarotto-Vegeta-Goku flee above Snake Way, to Kaio-Sama's little planet. The god-king stared at him.

"You've been gone for so many years, Son Goku, and you've changed so much."

"Really, Kaio-Sama?" Son Goku just felt complete. He wanted power and he was so hungry.

"The Earth has been almost destroyed. Gohan and his friends are the last defenders of it."

Son Goku looked down at the grass, his pride insisting on finding someway to return to the Earth and taking victory for himself, his son, and his comrades. Chi-Chi and Bulma may still be alive.

"I forgot. Lord Enma mentioned someone that I should go to for help."

Kaio-Sama nodded, telling him of the young Kaioshin who was the God of Creation in their Universe. There were 11 others with Gods of their own. If Goku wasn't able to gain sympathy from this one, perhaps another would be more generous.

Son Goku never mentioned that he might take the power if necessary.

* * *

"Are you Kaioshin-sama?"

The young Kaioshin looked up and saw the face of a mortal that he had been told about before. "Son Goku? How may I help the dead hero of the planet Earth?"

He stared at the young Kaioshin, looked over at his assistant-attendant-companion. Kaioshin stood and watched him, wondering what the hero would do.

"Kaioshin-sama, there's something happening on Earth. I can't go down, as I am dead and can't enter the Mortal Realm. Could you help the people of Earth in my place?"

The Kaioshin nodded, ignoring and scolding his companion Kibito.

"As I am, I must avoid agency in the Mortal Realm, but there is a pair that may be more willing to allow you access. I will do what I can, Son Goku."

And that was how he met the young man in training to become the Kaioshin of Universe 10.

* * *

Gowasu welcomed him, impressed by the tales of him defeating Freezer at the young age of 24. The stories preened and burned his pride. They made his companion prickle.

Zamasu was young, fierce, and hateful of mortals, something that made Son Goku eager to put him in his place.

Too bad, Zamasu was too strong for him.

"You are slow, dead mortal!" The kick connected with his chest, sending Son Goku flying back into the tree where Gowasu drank his tea.

"Zamasu, look how resilient this 'dead mortal' is," Gowasu chided. "This shows much hope. Perhaps he should become Kaioshin in your place."

He knew that Gowasu was using him as something to spur Zamasu to greater spiritual enlightenment, but the words dug into his brain. To become Kaioshin would solve all of his current predicament.

He talked to Gowasu about gaining his life back, which was readily granted to him, and his wounds from fighting and sparring with Zamasu were healed with Kaioshin's power much more easily than with healing pods and Senzu. Power flooded him more and more each time, his Saiyan blood enhancing them more and more every time.

Soon came the day that the mantle of the Kaioshin was to be passed on. Zamasu, infuriated by Son Goku's presence, demanded Gowasu to ignore the innocence and purity of Son Goku's heart, this strange love that he told them of for Prince Vegeta, and to realize that this man's journey to Hell and stains of sulfur did not eliminate to barbarity of his organic and finite being.

Gowasu's brain spilled from the craving slice in his skull, the soft pick-grey tissue peeking out and mocking Son Goku's desires and wishes to see the Earth as his home and only safe haven in a universe still obedient to Freezer, hateful towards Saiyans.

Zamasu's heart in his hands was soft and hot, a fire that Son Goku readily ate, that hatred towards mortals present, mirroring Vegeta's hatred towards the universe and Kakarotto's love and eagerness to please his Prince. The emotions coalesced in Son Goku, new Kaioshin of Universe 10, and he felt the power to Create stirring.

"No, I don't have time. This power can only work if things have been destroyed... If I get all of the Kaioshin's powers, I could be the Universal God of Creation.

"Gowasu said that we are limited, but if one dies, and another is present, they will inherit that power.

"Those women are still alive, certainly. That witch wouldn't die so easily and the homekeeper is raising Kakarotto's son well if he's still fighting against the Earth's threats."

As Son Goku packed few provisions, his grey Hell-guard uniform and red-orange Mark of the King around his waist his only clothing, he spied a box that Zamasu offered information on.

"Time Rings, huh?"

He slipped one on.

* * *

The Universes offered weak and powerful Kaioshin alike, and the last one to fall, Son Goku didn't even need to waste him time on. The Universe 7 Kaioshin, who had refused to be proactive, fell at the hands of Dabura. This Majin Buu slept on, the young man with a sword eliminating the threat.

Part of Son Goku's heart moved, Vegeta coming forward and feeling possessive. Kakarotto had no answers, only questions.

Son Goku followed the young man - a Saiyan? - and came upon Bulma, hair long and face aged.

"Trunks! You're home!" Mother embraced son.

Kakarotto shuddered inside of Son Goku, anger filling him because Vegeta was his and no one else's. Vegeta growled at the possessive feeling surrounding him, asserting that Kakarotto belonged to Vegeta, only Vegeta. This woman was never his, and this spawn was not something that he wanted, especially if he had needed the Kaioshin's help to defeat a sleeping threat.

Zamasu offered a simple solution, to correct these errors of a world gone wrong and offspring that was an insult to their obsession.

They'd burn it down.

"You aren't Son-kun!" Bulma tried to pull away from the hands that were crawling over her, her breasts held almost tenderly in mocking of friendship and passion.

"What was so good about you? Why'd he go to you instead of me?" Lips came around her neck, fangs threatening the delicate skin underneath. She kicked at him, the same way she did before she wrapped her legs around Vegeta's waist so many years ago. How long had it been? Did they make Trunks then?

Kakarotto would have been dying when Bulma gave birth, screaming as the new-child cried for air for the first time.

Bulma ran home, telling the stories of Goku Black and the Cities that he had destroyed in a fury that she didn't understand.

* * *

The Time Machine was a blessing. He saw Goku-Kakarotto-himself and Vegeta came forward, Kakarotto rushing forward to please him.

"Nice to meet you, Son Goku."

_Mine. Ours. Yours._

_Mine._

**Author's Note:**

> Note: The Saiyan culture that I made is compiled in another fic that I will be uploading, Saiyajin Konbe, which is for another fic, but the legends are the same for both universes.
> 
> Note: I have parents like Gohan's; I definitely know the feelings that Gohan experiences.
> 
> Note: Breathing trumps many other physical needs as one's condition deteriorates. Pain does not help oxygenation of the body; support, emotional and physical, can. Hearing is the last thing to go.
> 
> Preview:  
> "Are you Kaioshin-sama?"
> 
> The young Kaioshin looked up and saw the face of a mortal that he had been told about before. "Son Goku? How may I help the dead hero of the planet Earth?"


End file.
